his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
