Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize