um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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