I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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