I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
only you would photoshop your dick
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize