thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
