If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
