It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
