8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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