u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Can I color on your dick again?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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