If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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