she was so not down for the gang bang
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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