I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
how does that bad decision feel?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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