Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
