Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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