Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
