Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
