I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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