Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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