Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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