If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize
