god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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