Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just google imaged poop.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
