Don't you send me to vm
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
