my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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