Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
soo... how was my night?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
