spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
