that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
