By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
