:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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