Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
