He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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