Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
