College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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