oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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