She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
