lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
