the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
