Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
