HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
