I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
