guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
