He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
