i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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