***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
