Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
