So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
