I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
