finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
