Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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