She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just gargled with NyQuil
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
