I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
