there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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