Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
