Me. At least after what I've been through.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
