My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
