I heard we made out
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
