My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
