We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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