38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize