I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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